Sunday, September 5, 2010

What to do?

So my best friends is going through a hard time right now with her son, he is 18 months and doesn't sleep through the night yet, she is extreme frustrated and exhausted over the whole thing. I have tried to offer my assistance the best I can but being a single friend I don't feel that it is my place to do that. From reading between the lines I think she is having some problems with her mother and perhaps her husband with regards to the techniques she is using to raise the baby. I think she might be taking their helpful advise and taking it as criticism which is also why I'm not offer my opinion in case she takes it the wrong way.

She was quite sick at the end of her pregnancy and then D was sick with tummy problems for months after he was born so I think she coddled him and put him into a strange routine concentrating on his feeding schedule as opposed to a proper sleeping schedule and now that everyone is thriving the strange routine is now the norm and she doesn't understand why he hasn't snapped out of it and sleeps through the night, like any of us do that!!!!! There is chaos in the home and it's really hitting her hard and making her think she is a bad mom, what she doesn't understand is she is a first time mom and these things happen and she should take advise from other people to help her change this routine, it's nothing against her mothering if she does this. I have actually wondered for months now what she was going to do because once D become school aged this sleeping pattern he's on isn't going to work. I even offered to take him for the weekend so she could get some sleep and perhaps see if I could get him to sleep better but she refused, which I also think is a bad thing, I don't think even the grandparents have had him overnight which is a whole new problem she's creating. It's really frustrating for me as a friends because on one hand she is hurting inside and out but on the other she kind of did this to herself.......I just don't know what to do for her especially since she is so oversensitive right now.

Thanks for listening to my vent

1 comment:

Andie said...

*hugs* I had trouble with my now 2.6 daughter not sleeping through the night (and now Miss 15 months too) It was a huge shock as they are children number 5 and 6 and numbers 1-4 were no problem at all. When Miss now 2.6 was 18months I realized she understood everything I said to her and so decided what would happen if she woke and told her. I asked her if she understood when I told her (she said yes) I made sure to tell her what would happen again when I put her to bed that night, when she woke in the night I went in and told her again what would happen if she didn't go back to sleep, she did!!! I continued to remind her for several days but she seemed to be cured. On the odd occasion since she has woken but has been easy and quick to settle. I am now waiting for Miss 15 months to get to the same stage of understanding.... there is 18 months between them so as you can probably guess I haven't had a good nights sleep in more than 2.6 years lol. Sure hope your friend can get it sorted soon and hopefully this might help and/or give you an idea that she may be interested in *hugs*